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I doubt any of you will find this as funny as I do.

Dec. 14th, 2006 | 12:11 am

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I forgot how much I love Catch 22

Nov. 26th, 2006 | 08:40 pm

"Do you know how long a year takes when it's going away?" Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. "This long." He snapped his fingers. "A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you're an old man."
"Old? I'm not old"
"You're inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?" Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.
"Well, maybe it is true," Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. "Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?"
"I do," Dunbar told him.
"Why?" Clevinger asked.
"What else is there?"

"They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
"No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
"Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
"They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."
"And what difference does that make?"

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I really do have a horrible sense of humour

Nov. 23rd, 2006 | 02:06 pm

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A war long past it's due

Nov. 18th, 2006 | 03:26 pm

My fellow "polluting" and "wasteful" countrymen. By now I'm sure you're all well aware of the oncoming threat of global warming. For the past half-decade or so it's been made very clear to us that if our pollution levels do not decrease, the fragile environment in which we exist shall completely collapse inwards. The climate of the world is often portrayed as a maniacal dictator that must have it's exact wills carried out before it commands swift justice in what could be one of the most brutal killings to life on this earth since a large meteor hit this earth millions of years ago and caused our planets progress to go underground and at that slow down considerably.

I feel a maniacal dictator is not quite a justified portrayal of such a disgusting foe. Mother nature is more in line with a long recognized psychopath that someone felt the need to hand a weapon of mass destruction to. Think of the many people in Africa and India that have seen their loved ones die at the hands of this monstrous beast. Their whole hard earned lives completely imploding at the hands of tsunamis, hurricanes, droughts and other such disasters. Lying in their own filth, absolutely devastated and terrified of the concept of having to once again start from scratch. Think of the Japanese who have had thousands of their hard-working citizens die because an evil force felt they needed an earthquake. No chance for revenge and no ability to deliver swift justice the way our enlightened first-world leaders have handled this planets more unpleasant human figures of power. We all operate under the delusion that the environment is beyond touchable for it's crimes as it is the complete backbone for our prosperity. For a group of humans that are so proud to claim their independence from any tyrannical rule, we are so happy to hand ourselves over when the oppressor stops being a entity of flesh and bone. Are we really so spineless to think that a violent and powerful uprising couldn't be the answer yet again. After all, coming to some form of agreement with this beast has long since gone to hell. If the French could overcome their evil monarch and those charming Americans could simply up and leave and start the worlds most glorious society when they felt it was needed, why can we as a combined creature not defeat this overlord that's haunted us since we emerged from the fog of time and crafted ourselves a number of societies in which to thrive. We must band together as a labor force and as a shared intellectual collective if we are to once again overthrow our oppressor.

Now I'm sure by this point you are feeling that whilst my words ring true to each of you, every last human feeling the need to join in arms and fight for our rights as free people of our beloved planet. Your logical and powerful brains have realized that a shared conscious is little without means of a plan and I write to you today to give you that very plan.

In many countries, significant amounts of money are thrown down the toilet researching and finding ways around problems that aren't fighting our planets life long oppressor. Scientists waste their valuable brain power and lifespan trying to find the cure for cancer, discovering which chemicals are hazardous to us and trying to have a definite answer on what environment would help plants and livestock grow. Imbeciles! I can't imagine why anyone would be against putting every amount research currency in to the possibilities of worldwide climate control. If the climate is not put under check, then all other research will become useless when another disaster strikes and from what I understand, one is on the horizon. Cancer patients will not need advanced chemotherapy when they are being sucked up by a colossal tornado, and their loved ones joining them in deaths unnatural embrace. But imagine, a world where not only have we made mother earth no longer the cruel, evil force that she is today, but also have put her under our powerful but logical rule. We've sent men in to space, created devices that allow us to fly across the world in a matter of hours and can stop a man from dying after being penetrated in the lungs by lumps of metal. We have advanced so far as a species, why is the possibility of a self governed weather system so far fetched?

Now I don't claim to be a man of science or of mechanical skill, but I have enough confidence in those who are to make this plan come to life. To the rest of you, work hard, pay your taxes, help the research develop, spread the word and most importantly, stay united! Be happy in the knowledge that you will give your children a safer environment to live in. We have overthrown oppression before and we will do it again.

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I guess it's either coincidense or some variety of guardian angel styled nonsense

Nov. 8th, 2006 | 07:09 pm
mood: amusedamused
music: last.fm radio

No matter how many times college manages to depress me to the point of wanting to quit, no matter how much I get tired of androgynous classes that revolve around fact memory and no matter how tired I get of seeing some people every fucking day and will do for the next few years, there's always going to be one class that I thoroughly enjoy. One little personal connection I make with someone that reminds me that a)this course is so much more enjoyable than it could be and b)that I should be pleased with the fact that I have made some decent friends in that place.

A running list of the events and people that have so far stopped me from quitting:

-Today's English lesson
-Johanna about eight times and Alix once or twice, hell, probably Manuus at some point
-Art class, in general
-Psychology in its earlier stages (it's becoming slightly dull)
-Actually doing something well and being complimented for it. This may sound mundane but it's been so many years since I could actually claim it to be a reality

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Nov. 5th, 2006 | 12:27 pm
mood: indifferentindifferent
music: Prince.....duh

I would just like to take the time to let whatever smelly geeks actually read this thing know that Prince is beyond fantastic and is a far better person than any of you will ever be.

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Oct. 29th, 2006 | 06:53 pm
location: bedroom
mood: draineddrained
music: Ras Kass - Soul On Ice

I was going to write something about my life but then I went through all that creation form malarkey and it kinda drained me of any will to be productive. So for my first lj entry I'd just like to say: your mother.

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